Confirmation

When we got to Riley we were taken back to a room quickly. There were doctors and nurses all around us asking many questions. Bri was scared and one of the representatives from the Child Life program came in with her iPad to try and help her through some of her fear. These people do a great service and it is wonderful that the hospital has them. Bri was able to take her mind off of what was going on slightly until they came in and began what seemed like a five hour attempt at putting a needle in the top of her hand. She screamed and cried at every attempt and we felt so helpless that we could not help her or comfort her. I remember turning towards the wall crying, not wanting her to see me. After all, I am supposed to be Daddy, her protector. But I was helpless.

There were many times ahead that we would feel the same way. You want to make them stop hurting your child but you know that what they are doing is necessary. It doesn’t make any of the pain go away but you have to let the doctors and nurses continue because you know that they are only trying to help in the long run. Well, you mostly have to let them continue but we did encounter a young doctor that really did not belong in a children’s hospital. For those of you that know my beautiful wife you know that she can work up a temper and when she had enough of him she ran him right out of the room. They had to send another doc in to work with us after that! I laugh now thinking of it.

As the evening went on there were more tests and then we were asked to speak with a surgeon. She explained to us that there was a tumor located on the brain stem. She went on to tell us that due to the location of the tumor, she would not be performing surgery nor would she even attempt a biopsy. She explained that she could do more harm than good by making the attempt. The words cut into us like a knife. Inoperable. Angie vomited. Tears flowed. The doctor went on to say that a CT scan was not detailed enough and they would like to perform an MRI to see if there was any fluid on the brain that may require a shunt to help relieve pressure. The MRI was scheduled for the next day. Even though it was early morning when we got to the room none of us were sleeping. It was a long day which was about to lead to a second long day.

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