The Hell Named Silence

After the NG tube placement we were taken down to xray. The docs had ordered this to insure that the tube placement was correct, especially since they had so much trouble inserting it. Our nurse on the fifth floor, which houses the hematology/oncology inpatients, called for a transport nurse to take us down to radiology on the first floor. This was evening time and we were able to go right in one of the rooms as soon as we got down. I transferred Bri to the xray table and laid her back. The radiology tech became confused about what type of xray was needed and she left the room to make phone calls. She returned after some time and positioned Bri for her scan. She completed the scan and I went to remove Brianna from the table. I panicked. Bri was really red and she was not breathing as I sat her up. I yelled out to the tech that she was not breathing and she panicked and just stood there. I said that we needed to suction Bri out and she just stood there in shock. Angie headed for the door to grab someone and the tech finally moved and went looking for someone.

She returned with a doctor who was off duty as he was in his suit and appeared to be going home. He came in and started asking medical history questions. I quickly told him what her problem was and proceeded to tell him that I felt her throat needed suctioned out. She had neither the strength or the ability to clear her throat like we do and she could not breathe. He continued to ask questions and the longer we stood there the madder Angie and I got. I was getting ready to blow up when our nurse from upstairs showed up. The tech had called her to come down to help out. She stepped right in and the doctor started talking to her and she pushed her way in and immediately assessed the situation. We looked back on the wall and right there was a suction unit. She grabbed a suction catheter and went to work. The catheter was a small one and did just enough to clear the airway so Bri could breathe. This whole time the tech was questioning her, insinuating that she should have never let a transport nurse being us down to radiology. We all let her know that Brianna was stable when she came down and that she went the wrong direction on her watch. Our nurse said she is stable and suggested we get her upstairs away from these idiots. We agreed and took off for the fifth floor.

Bri was cleared up soon after we got back upstairs and after close to thirty-two hours or so was finally given some “food”. Bri’s food consisted of a liquid formula much like you give a baby. This seemed to satisfy her which calmed her down some. With her belly full we were able to get her to get some sleep and Angie and I also got to get some sleep as well. The next day would be her surgery.

The weeks leading up to this hospital stay Bri had slowly become more difficult to understand when she talked. We struggled at tines to make out what she was trying to say and it was so frustrating for her, and us. It brought tears to our eyes many times when we could not make out what Bri wanted. She could not tell us if she felt pain. She could not tell us where the pain was or how bad it was. It is the most helpless feeling in the world to look into your child’s tear filled eyes and not be able to understand what they need from you. Each person on this earth has their own hell on earth. We can tell you that silence is hell and we are living in it every day.

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